Help Wanted: Poker Gods (no experience needed)
Are you tired of losing at Poker? Sick of the idiots who chase you to the River with a two-out draw and yell “Well, That’s Poker” after they hit it?
Are the SNG players who call your all-in pre-flop with a 78s in the first round of blinds and catch making you want to pull your hair out? What about when they win and say “I figured I had live cards”?
We are looking for current Poker players who are looking to take
REVENGE.
As a Poker God, you will be deciding what the next card to come will be in many situations of many Poker Games all over the world.
Ideal candidate will be one of the sickest, most cold-hearted individuals on the face of the planet. Must be able to crush hopes and dreams and have no remorse whatsoever
Job Description:
Starting with the low-limit cash games and tournaments, you will be in charge of giving the sickest beats you can think of to unlucky Poker players all over the world.
As you prove your worth, giving bad beat after bad beat to these unlucky suckers, you will move up to bigger cash games and tournaments. This is where the real fun begins.
Trips? No problem throw a runner-runner straight out there. Quads? Easy, give ‘em the straight flush. Make sure there isn’t one of those Bad Beat Jackpots though.
People will be calling out to you all day — “Give me an Ace”, “Please, no spade. Pleeeease No SPADE!!!”, “Keep ‘em low”.
Forget it. Don’t give them a thing. Don’t listen, don’t comply, don’t do anything. Don’t sympathize, don’t care.
All those years of being at our mercy. You know how it feels. To have no control over a situation and have to rely on us.
Well now you know, we get a kick out of screwing you over.
Call 888-ScrewYou, or apply within.
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